Life and Times of the Crazy Indian Irishman

whatever

2005-11-02T22:56:00.000-05:00

i dont even know why i have this.
do i really want any of you to know whats going on in my head.
im not too sure.

In my head

2005-08-14T21:53:00.000-04:00

if you take a knife and cut me through
you might be ashamed to find
that inside I almost became like you.

thats all i have to say.

wow.

2004-12-30T16:27:00.000-05:00

i remember during my junior year in college a friend told me that funerals were supposed to be a time of joy and happiness. This was because the soul of the deceased was being liberated from the earth and was going on to a much happier place. Maybe I'm selfish, or maybe I'm dumb...but no matter how hard i keep trying to convince myself of this I cant find happiness in all of this. What makes it even worse is that I know she is right.

but yea...

over my life i have heard and seen some horrible things.
nothing is worse than seeing a mother crying over her dead child.
nothing comes even close.

i lied, snow is NOT awesome

2004-12-28T03:37:00.000-05:00

i forgot to make one more addition to it.

7) People can DIE because of it: sometimes you just can't handle having fun with a bit of snow on the road. its kind of cool to go fast on it and drift and stuff. other times you can skid, and laugh about it. its a shame when some skid and dont live to tell about it. RIP jm.

please be careful driving.

Snow is AWESOME!

2004-12-20T01:12:00.000-05:00

ok...so today was pretty good. really didnt do much, but i did go to the mall with hw. and then got lost on the icey roads. good stuff!

but anyways...avani reddy requests that i write about snow. so i guess ill give my reasons why i think snow is awesome.

1) You can HIT people with it. I think snow is one of the few things someone can throw at somebody else without causing so much harm that it would hurt them badly, even if they got hit in the face. I see that getting hit by a snowball is like taking a shot to one's pride and that always means retaliation. i've never thrown a snowball at anyone without having them throw one back at me.
2) You can BUILD people with it. Arite, so snowmen really aren't people, but u kno wat...without snow we wouldnt have frosty the snowman. and without frosty the snowman life just wouldnt be the same. but yea, rain is pretty much worthless to build stuff with and hail doesnt really cut it since ur too busy picking up broken house parts to be building hailmen with.
3) You can HOUSE people with it. similar to building a snowman, one can build an igloo using snow. Igloos are cool because then you can pretend to be an eskimo or something. Being an eskimo is more fun than playing cowboys and indians because when i was little i was always the indian. crap, now that i think about it i still am...
4) You can ELATE people with it. there was nothing better in elementary/middle/high school than a snow day. nothing at all. maybe straight A's, but other than that...nothing. It was like christmas/hannukah/kwanzaa/diwali/etc. all wrapped up in one. Best feeling ever!
5) You can DEVASTATE people with it. You see...when you get snow everything slows down...especially traffic. when it snows you get those really long traffic jams and such where people take like 3 hours to go to work when it would normally take them like 30 minutes. that my friends is devastating. i cant imagine 3 hours in a car to go to work. worst 3 hours ever. unless u were starving or trapped or being hurt...that would suck even more. but yea, snow is an awesome force.
6) You can TRANSPORT people with it. Skiing/Snowboarding/Snowshoeing/and sledding are all only possible due to snow. Its easier to ride a sled down a hill than walk down it, which makes snow awesome for downhill transport. you are on your own if you are gonna try to walk up a snowy hill. i wouldnt wish such a challenge upon anyone.

arite, i can go on forever, but as you can all see - snow is awesome.

on a more serious note...ive noticed that some people think that when snow melts everything looks so new and fresh. i dunno bout that, i think everything looks depressing at that moment. getting used to something and then watching it disappear slowly never makes me happy.

When you are blind...you can't see.

2004-12-17T01:18:00.000-05:00

Today i noticed that the majority of people use blogs for intelligent things like posting about things going on in the world and such. Then i read my entries and I learn that i just write about crap...period. So without further ado (is that how its spelled?)...here I go with more CRAP!.

i have learned far more about women's underwear the past week than i ever wanted to learn my entire life. thats all im gonna say on that topic...kinda creeps me out.

but anyways...nayiri has requested i write about happy bunnies. so i shall try.
...i have never seen a happy bunny in my life...except for the easter bunny, but thats another story. Every bunny i've encounteredd has been runnin away from my car...or ive been swerving away from it. It even seems to me that Rabbit in Winnie the Pooh was never really a happy being. he was always on Winnie's shit yellin' at him for this and that...speaking of bunnies...i wonder if they ever need to get a hair cut. it would be really wild to give a bunny a mohawk.

arite, nuff bout bunnies...sorry nayiri...i can't get too creative with that.

so much to do. between work and the few hours of sleep i get every night i still gotta watch some movies...hopefully go some places...and on and on...i dunno...ill write again soon because todays post is just garbage. hah.

Santa Doesn't Cut it anymore

2004-12-10T03:22:00.000-05:00

usually around this time of year i get all pumped up for the holidays and stuff since u get to see all the lights and bright colors everywhere. to those that havent noticed, i have a thing for many colors...they always mesmerize me. but back to the topic on hand.

when i was growing up santa was this awesome force...you kno kind of like Superman and Batman put together. He would have superman powers with all his flying antics and whatnot and like Batman Santa would have the best ride around. But on top of that Santa would always be decked out with all the toys ever and he'd have reindeers pull his sled around...especially tha supernatural red nose freak Rudolph/ Rudolf ... however u spell it. and best of all flying reindeers are the coolest, maybe i can find one on ebay.

but yea...then once you learn that santa claus lives in the same place as the tooth fairy, which is NOWHERE, that excitement turned into apathy for me. i felt like an idiot for staying up all night and listening for footsteps and all that good stuff. now that i think about it, i was dumb anyways cause we never had a christmas tree or a chimney so santa wouldnt have had a spot for the presents. i wonder how the little kids without chimneys expect him to get into their house...

anyways...that brings me to today. finally christmas isnt at all about santa for me anymore. (Santa and presents can be interchanged since they are supposed to go hand in hand). ill just be happy staring at the lights and assorted colors and hangin out with friends. Oh yea, movies about santa and frosty and all that are still cool. nothin seems to beat nostalgia, but yea, thats pretty much wat its become.

but you kno wat, ill prolly be tellin my kids one day that santa brings em presents. one thing ive learned is that its OK to believe in a lie as long as it makes you a better person for doing so. sometimes you gotta believe a lie to move on.

post thanksgiving edition

2004-11-29T01:35:00.000-05:00

arite, so 20 days later...here i am again.

hmmm...arite...the biggest thing i learned this thanksgiving was that the man on the flying trapeze is a player. how did i learn this? simple...while hee won was attempting to teach me how to play the piano i read the lyrics to the song and apparently its about some guy thats all depressed that the man on the flying trapeze stole his girls heart. funny how wat the kids used to sing back in the day isnt too much different than today (minus a trapeze). but yea...all in all it turns out that song is the only one i can somewhat play on the piano.

also...candy buttons seem to be intrigueing. even though they are ridiculously easy to make fun of...one day i will buy some and try them (eating them...not wearing them). for some reason they remind me of stuff that would come out of willy wonka's chocolate factory. i'll wait till the next gummi bear trip to hit those up. if anyone has been brave enough to try them...lemme kno how they are. i believe they are in christmas colors this time of year.

hmm...oh yea...football is fun...but only when u get the ball as i learned. i played in a couple of games of which one was fun and the other not so much. oh well...at least it was good hangin out some kids i hadnt seen in a long time. im amused how the spirit of SNGH still live on with the montgomery kids.

oh yea...i had some crazy good gummi bears...i believe they are from a company called juicee...to any gummi bear enthusiasts out there, i reccomend u try them...or let me kno you want to so i can get some. they are worth it.

hmmm...i think thats all im feelin for the writing. there was much more done during the break like frequent napping, frequent tv watching, frequent hanging out, korean food!, trips to the mall, oh yea...COOL RUNNINGS is a FANTASTIC movie, i recommend it to everyone, and a frequent lotta of other things.

thats all i wanna type since im getting hungry. peace.

2004-11-09T00:23:00.000-05:00

halfcourt dan kichura and evan staats contemplating the finer things in life.

2004-11-09T00:14:00.000-05:00

extreme pita being very extreme. so extreme he cant keep a straight face...and his cousin diane enjoyin a birthday beverage.

2004-11-09T00:10:00.000-05:00

amar wears colorful shirts. amar finds glasses. amar then he puts them on.

2004-11-09T00:09:00.000-05:00

extreme pita gau's cousin diane and i.

2004-11-09T00:04:00.000-05:00

peter "extreme pita" gau, anthony "the bit" sitoy, amar "shockey just might be the best" gaglani, and me spontaneously pretending to be the worst boy band ever. Look out for our single "you dont know me" comming to a cd near you. very blurry picture

Arite, what a weekend.

2004-11-08T13:13:00.000-05:00

so this weekend me and a few of my friends decided to venture out to virginia tech for a weekend of chillin and fun. all in all i can say the trip was everything i expected it would be and probably a little bit more. met a bunch of people and got to kno some that i knew but didnt kno. kind of like how people know names and faces but nothing more and then you can add something more to people other than just their names (i hope that isnt confusing). lot of fun walking around their pretty nice campus and cooking for my friends. Much "respect" to my vtech people...from the bit to bullina to staats to diane to laura to sean and all the couch *****s. good stuff.

perhaps the only bad part about the trip was the ride back when i saw one of the more disturbing images in a while. it was along the side of the highway some car car swerved off the rode and crashed into a bunch of trees or something. wow, i can still picture it so clearly...the car was ruined and it apparently seemed as if the jaws of life were needed to cut open the car. i think i saw what looked like blood splashed on the inside of the car and the driver seemed to be alive thank god. but he was lying on one of those rolly bed things the ambulance people use so i dunno. that image is ruining me. makes me angry, sad, upset, watever else along those lines seemingly for no apparent reason at all. i have seen much much worse in my lifetime but...for now i hope doesnt end up being the single defining image i incorporate with the trip.

and finally nov 5 seems to be a popular day for birthdays...

OK...i have an excuse (i hope i spelled that right)

2004-10-21T02:06:00.000-04:00

arite, its been a long time since i wrote in here...and i probably wont write in here very often because ive been keeping a private account of my life and times. you see, its not that i dont what you people to know wat ive been writing...its just that i dont think many of you would really care, some might not be too happy about what ive been writing.......on second thought i lied......i dont want some of you to know what ive been writing. usually nowadays if i write it deals with sensitive issues...ones that are very close to me, ones that i wont talk about unless asked about...but enough of that so anyways heres wat i got to say.

i participated in a 5K run the other day for breast cancer. the survivors were dressing in pink hats and watnot. it really made me happy to see the number of people that have survived breast cancer. i know some people that are afflicted with breast cancer (and some that have died) and it really makes me happy to see that more and more women arent giving up.

but yea...the summer was pretty awesome. i had a job (even tho it sucked it was still a job) and i got to hang out with lots of people which is always awesome. summer classes arent awesome. but yea...im not gonna waste anyones time so i guess ill end it for today. im tired.

wow, its been a while

2004-08-27T02:42:00.000-04:00

shit, its been a whole long time since i wrote in this piece. well...i dont know why i havent written in this thing...prolly cause i never have anything important to say.

anyways...sorry to all the people i havent been able to call in a long time. Reason is the beast from the east (my mom) decided it would be great punishment to take away my cell phone. shes a smart one since the cell phone is the only thing i use to hold all the numbers of people. no phone numbers means no contact since i dont like using email. but to make a long story short i should be getting it back 2morrow hopefully so ill barrage some of you people with lots of calls again like the way it used to be.

till then...i think ill lay low.

if only we could be bees.

2004-07-01T23:39:00.000-04:00

i wish i didnt have to live here. it would be so much easier if i could just go away and build my house wherever i pleased. now that is why bees are lucky. they can build a hive just about anywear...even in a door of a car which a friend of mine recently experienced.

shit, i remember once when someone closed the door of the car with my finger in the way and that hurt like a *$%&^#@ (sorry, this is a family friendly site...even tho a grand total of 0 families read it)...but anyways...if bees can build a house in there, they can build one anywhere. actually, building a hive in a car would be pretty cool because you could be at home and travel at the same time...wow, this makes me want to get a trailer or something. but anyways, i want to see some bees build a hive on someone. i guess if they found someone like christopher reeves who couldnt do much to stop the construction of a hive upon themselves it would be potentially successful. that way the bees could just chill at home and travel too just like in a car.

regardless of it all... the past few weeks have been uneventful. i havent really done anything out of this world...oh wait...yes i have. Today i was talking to a transvestite and a midget at the same time. it was surreal. its like one of those jokes where you have a priest, a rabbi, and a donkey go into a bar or something. i think that will probably be about as crazy as the summer gets...which is pretty sad. but oh well...its been good and i guess i'll ride the wave for a while.

yay, that was an awesome week.

2004-06-13T00:37:00.000-04:00

arite...so its that time again where i write about stuff that happened to me and whatever random stuff i feel like writing about...

arite, so here we go...monday was the regular ho hum day...i dont remember what i did but if it was anything good i would have remembered it. but then tuesday was just flat out awesome. it was one of those days where you wake up and you just know the day is gonna be great. i went to class, then afterwards drove down and picked up my friend whereupon we went to the yankees game. But prior to the yankees game we got ice cream...and i managed to combine a couple of my favorite things in one --> STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM and GUMMI BEARS!!!! whoa, that gets me really pumped up just thinking about it. but anyways the yankees game was great...it was one of those 2-1 games where the pitchers are good and everyone looks like they are professional baseball players. haha, we also came up with a great fundraising idea...can't wait to put the wheels in motion. after it was all said and done i think i learned that i enjoy walking in the dark not knowing where the hell i am. i guess im just wierd like that. wednesday was class, studying, basketball, and more studying for the test i had on thursday. Thursday was another good day...took the test and i saw shrek 2 with the hee wizzle. I recommend everyone to see that movie...i could seriously see that movie like 3 more times. friday was more of the same ole goodness minus classes and more of the hee wizzle plus basketball. saturday was today and nothing exciting happened...except for getting the blood drawn out again. it seems that i have an excessive red blood cell count which i dunno what it means...but i guess too much of a good thing can be bad so we'll find out. hmmm...okay...enough of that. i wanna type more but i dont at the same time.

2004-06-02T01:25:00.000-04:00

my hair is short!!!...i regret cutting it so small.

blah blah blah said the dog to the cow

2004-06-02T01:02:00.000-04:00

arite, the past week went from good to great to real shitty. Dealing with the parents and the total lack of privacy i have in this house is really really really pissing me off. i hope i dont become angry sharad under a facade of apathy again. high school wasnt as fun because of that. but oh well...ill deal...many more people have it much worse than i do so i should learn to be happy.

hmmm...on a random thought when you hear a name do you automatically imagine what the person will look like based of their name alone? I mean, you'll hear a name but no physical description of the person...but yet in your head you somehow already have a picture of what the person will look like. its always nothing like the way the person ends up looking like once you see them, but an initial picture is still formed by hearing the name. i do that all the time and i was wondering if that was something i only did.

oh yea, on another random thought...when ramen noodles or something like that are being cooked (and everything no matter how inanimate they are could talk), i wonder if the noodles talk to the water and are like "yo, stop boiling me b&*#h" and the water says to the noodles "shut the f&%$ up, it ain't my fault...blame it on the fire." I think that would be cool because then cooking would be a form of some sadistic entertainment and people would stop hurting each other because then they could just cook as an outlet of rage.

arite, random writing time

2004-05-21T00:21:00.000-04:00

arite, i dunno why i'm writing in here tonight but i am so i guess im gonna have to deal with it. today i figure ill write on a stream of consciousness...just typing watever flows into my head so maybe you can peep into how i think. As i type this my stomach feels wierd. i recommend whoever reads this never to order a fajita from mcdonalds. Folks...there is a reason why its on the dollar menu. i think i had like 20 chicken fajita burps all day and that stuff isnt fun to deal with. oh yea, speaking of mcdonalds...a couple friends (anthony and dan) and I were having an intellectual conversation today on wat Grimace was (that purple blob dude from McDonalds). I was under the impression that it was a purple chicken nugget and anthony couldnt figure ti out. Dan said it was probably the result of a contest to see who can draw the ugliest thing possible. For some reason i think he was probably right. Oh yea, while im on the McDonalds stream of thought i think the Hamburgler is a bastard. Thats right, a bastard...i would be so pissed off if i was trying to enjoy a meal and some idiot with orange hair and a cape and a cracked out striped outfit stole my burger. If i was Ronald i wouldve made the Grimace beat the crap out of him a long time ago. arite, im stuck now...i dont kno wat to write about because i am thinkign too hard about what i should write about. oh yea...so today got some money in the mail. isnt that grand! now i can spend a whopping 11 dollars on myself because the rest of it is going to other (hopefully good) endeavors. I need a job because im the type of idiot who give out money too much. oh well...so is life. that is the end of todays freestyle writing session.

hmmm...another VV survey

2004-05-20T23:57:00.000-04:00

Survey first courtesy of angry dining hall man (harold)
IDENTIFICATION
*1. Name: Sharad
*2. Natural Hair Color: black
*3. Hair Color Currently: black
*4. Eye Color At Birth : brown
*5. Eye Color Currently : brown
*6. Height: 5 8
*7. Glasses/Contacts: glasses sometimes
*8. Birthdate: aug 20 1984
*9. Sign: leo
*10. Current: 19
*11. Siblings' Names: sum[sh]it
*12. Location: belle mead NJ
*13. School Attending: rutgers
*14. Current Grade: senior i guess
*15. GPA: approaching brads blood alcohol content
*16. College Plans: i dont plan, i just ride the wave.
*17. Planned College Major: Molecular Bio
*18. Planned College Minor: Psych
*19. Any Piercings: nope
*20. Any Tattoos: nope

>SOCIAL LIFE:
*1. Girl Friend(s): i have friends that are girls but no girlfriend.
*2. Guy Friend(s): friends that are guys too
*3. Girlfriend: nope
*4. If No, Current Dating Partner: dating partner?!? wtf...
*5. Current Crush: none at the moment
*6. Hobbies: playing cards, driving, sports, video games
*7. Pager: psssh...i dunno why i carry a cell.
*8. Are You Center Of Attention Or Wallflower: usually wallflower...sometimes not.
*9. What Type Automobile Do You Drive: 92 camry from time to time
*10. What Type Automobile Do You Wish You Drove: a boeing 747
*11. Would You Rather Be With Friends Or On A Date: usually friends, sometimes date
*12. Where Is The Best Hangout: ECHO POINT!!!!
*13. Do You Have A Job: full time bum.

>PERSONAL:
*1. Who Is Your Role Model: mr. huxtable from the cosby show, haha
*2. What Are Your Pet Peeves: incessant nagging
*3. Have You Ever Been In Love: hmmm...not sure if it was love or lust
*5. Have You Ever Cried Over The Opposite Sex: hah!
*6. Do You Have A "Type" Of Person You Always Go After: wacky people
*7. Have You Ever Lied To Your Best Friend(s): umm...wasnt bout anything important if i did
*8. Ever Wanted To Get Revenge on Someone Because They Hurt You: YES
*9. Ever Been Cheated On: hmmm...i hope not
*10. Ever Said I Love You To A Significant Other: sure
*11. Rather Be Dumper Or Dumped: umm...id rather be a dumper
*12. Rather Have A Relationship Or A "Hookup": depends
*13. Want Someone You Don't Have Right Now: maybe
*14. Ever Liked Your Best Guy/Girl Friend: maybe
*15. Do You Want To Get Married: yep
*16. Do You Want Kids: 2-4 sounds reasonable
*17. Do You Believe In Psychics: umm...no
*18. Do You Believe You Know The Person Who You Are Going To Marry At This Point In Life: barely the slightest clue
*19. What Is Your Favorite Part Of Your Body: my exagerated facial features
*20. What Is Your Favorite Part Of Your Emotional Being: usually happy
*21. Are You Happy With You: ummm...to an extent. i need to improve more.
*22. Are You Happy With Your Life: its been goin...i guess.
*23. Are You Scared Right Now?: somewhat.
*24. Depressed?: nope.
*25. If You Could Change Something In Your Life Right Now, What Would It Be: I would be chillin with all my friends right now, playin cards and havin a good ole time.
*26. Say Something To Someone That May Or May Not Read This That You've never Told Them, But Need To: hah!!!

>> FAVORITE:
*1. Sports Team: browns, indians, cavaliers
*2. Room In house: bathroom
*3. Girl's Name: Jade
4. Guy's Name: Milton
*5. Person to talk to about your problems: i have a tendency to bottle them up. Not good.
*6. Song: Stayin Alive - Bee Gees
*7. Movie: Kindergarten Cop i think.
*8. Actor/Actress: OJ Simpson and Selma Hayek
*9. Beverage: Orange Soda, Root Beer, Lemonade
*10. Candy: starburst, skittles, sour patch kids, Gummy Bears.
*11. Family Member: All my cousins
*12. Salad Dressing: 1000 Island
*13. Blanket/Stuffed Animal: Curious George
*14. Favorite quote from a movie: "It's not a tooo-mah"
*15. Day of The Week: Friday
*16. Color: Red
*17. Perfume And Cologne: i like natural smells better.
*18. TV Shows: family guy, simpsons, The Cosby Show, Southpark
*19. Flower: Buttercups
*20. Fast Food Place: McDonalds (dollar menu is quite nice)
*21. Game: risk, monopoly, GRAPE ESCAPE!, clue, scrabble
*22. Teacher: mrs. knight (first grade teacher)
*23. Love Song: Tell Me Something Good-Rufus ft. Chaka Khan
*24. Clothing: t-shirt, jeans, and soem sneakers
*25. Possession: my books
*26. Vacation Spot: amsterdam seemed pretty cool
*27. Person To Give Advice To: whoever asks for it.
*28. Person To Get Advice From: no clue.

>> THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE U:
*1. Cried: nope
*2. Bought Something: 3 hrs worth of bowling and some food.
*3. Gotten Sick: nope
*4. Sang: oh yes.
*5. Eaten: of course
*6. Been Kissed: i wish
*7. Felt Stupid: all the time
*8. Said I Love You: umm...nope
*9. Wanted To Tell Someone You Loved Them, But Didn't: not sure...ill go with no
*10. Met Someone New: yes
*11. Moved On: from what?
*12. Missed An Ex: no

A hollow feeling.

2004-05-15T01:28:00.000-04:00

Arite, im gonna post about junior year in retrospect at a later time (prolly tomorrow), but anyways, there are other things on my mind today...well...actually another thing. I got some news today that made me think about people in general that we see and interact with every day. Some people arent very close at all where others are the ones you get to know and call friends. Sometime you see or meet people you know won't be able to see you for very long because you have to move or other circumstances. Well...i dont really know where i'm going with this...or my thoughts arent clear at all right now.

Well...over last summer i worked with a nice lady who taught me all sorts of neat stuff about enzymes and even taught me how to do enzyme kinetic reactions and curves and whatnot. but i never thought of her as a teacher, but as a friend because no matter how hungover, burnt, injured, or sleepy i was she would always find a way to make me smile. that was her gift. well...all i can say is shes dead now and i'll never be able to thank her for what she did for me. I will never forget. R.I.P Jeanine.

I dunno...this is usually the time people begin to question why bad things happen to good people and blah blah blah. I cannot tell, and really, nor can anyone else because this is one of those things that is beyond our control and the intentions of the divine are sometimes hard to explain and intricate (a friend taught me that, thanks!). I am man, and all i can do is to beseech all you to try to learn the most from everyone, be kind, and be sure to make the most from our fleeting moments.

wow, its been a long time

2004-05-03T05:27:00.000-04:00

arite, its been a while since i wanted to type something up in here, but i guarantee it wont happen again for a while considering schools almost out and im about to be mired in one long boring summer. i dont think im gonna be doing much more than hopefully working, taking a class or 2, and playing hours upon hours of basketball every day that i can.

the past month or so has been arite. i havent done much more than hang out with friends and school. Hmmm...i dont feel like writing too much today since im out of sync with this entire blogging business. its been a long time. hmm...oh yea...ive started to remember my dreams again somewhat and man oh man...something up there is not right. i dunno how i dream wat i dream, but its some of the wackiest and scariest stuff i could possibly think. my dreams are nightmares, and i can only hope none of them do come true.

hmm...lets end it with the highlight of the day...well...actually tis a 3 way tie:
1) Dick's ghetto fabulous 10 dollar investment...i feel 10 years closer to the end.
2) an angry hee won saying "i feel like f&#$ing Carrie" and then shortly thereafter realizing the double meaning.
3) daisey's psychotic obsession with sharpays...and fat babies.

each of them made today one of the better days i can remember...

arite, so here's wat i was thinking

2004-04-07T07:12:00.000-04:00

48 hrs with 4 hrs of sleep...and im still goin.

today...err...yesterday in class we tried to be "idle" for 5 minutes which meant closing our eyes and letting or minds wander for a while. i do this every night so it wasnt too difficult for me but here is what i was thinking...

if a pig's head was placed upon a peacock's body, what would people notice? would they still take comfort in the beauty of the creatures majestic tailfeathers or would they shun the creature away for its ugly snout and loud snorts. would the people focus on the bad or the beauty? would people really even care that such a creature could exhibit such beauty despite a facade of hideousness? some people like to focus on the bad, but does it take a discerning eye to see that behind it all there is something far more powerful, far more elegant behind its roaring "OINKs" and "SNORT"s. yes, perhaps this is something that is too far fetched to be worth writing about, but i think most people would be repulsed by the face than to be drawn in by the kaleidoscope of colors that its feathers would present. i for one, would take solace in its beauty. good must be overshadowed by bad for us as people to take pleasure in the things that the world has to offer. that put aside...i wonder if the animal would taste like ham and bacon or like watever a peacock taste like.

of the days i can only hope for

2004-04-06T06:32:00.000-04:00

wow, today i was thinking...things are so much better when appreciated for their simplicity rather than for their intricasies. at least this is what i think because the more complex things are, the more it draws away from the big picture and makes you focus on the small. i say this because i realized the truest of the true things that i enjoy in life happen to be placed in the experiences rather than the objects.

to me there is nothing better than hanging out with friends and doing something you both enjoy. when one plays a video game, one can cherish the game or the fact that they are playing with someone and sharing a certain hapiness derived from the game. for example, mario and madden have helped strengthen some friendships that otherwise might not have been so strong. one can say it is because the game is so awesome, but thats not true. i cannot play a video game by myself. there is a certain element of contentness that is raised when one gets to share something they enjoy with someone else because then the focus is not on the game itself, but on the sharing of a good time.

sometimes there is also a certain simple pleasure one gets just by watching. one might watch birds to see how to fly or treat their young. one might even watch the sun rise just to appreciate the dawning of a day anew. i prefer watching people. people do the dumbest things sometimes and it just cracks me up. there is a certain enjoyable element in watching how one talks or walks or even looks. if i could, i would get a lazy boy and put it right on times square just to watch hoard and hoards of people go by. that would be real cool. i kno one day ill be an old man who sits on a rocking chair on his porch and just watches people.

umm, wow, its time for breakfast, ill finish this up later. maybe. that survey thing took longer than i thought.

Another survey courtesy of angry dining hall man (harold)

2004-04-06T06:06:00.000-04:00

what does your name mean?--- cold peak of a mountain
do you have any nicknames?--- shagarwal, shaggy, shags
how old are you?--- 19
how old are you mentally, physically and emotionally?--- mentally: 19 physically: 25 emotionally: 30
what is your sign?--- leo
describe yourself in 5 words.--- I am so superly cool (jk)
what are your worst qualities?--- motivation lapses
what are your best qualities?--- i am patient...too patient
what are you interested in?--- people, sports, books, games

do you believe in god?--- yes sir/ma'am
do you believe there is life on other planets?--- what a waste of space if there isnt
do you believe in miracles?--- some crazy unexplainable things happen
do you believe in true love?--- yes, but only if both parties involved are truely content
what is your favorite food?--- pizza
what is your favorite vegetable?--- ummm...lettuce
what is your favorite drink?--- orange soda!
what kind of car do you drive?--- ummm, a huffy
what is your dream car?--- anything with 4 wheels that wont break down
do you sleep with stuffed animals?--- hmmm, i sometimes sleep on a giant oversized bear
what is your favorite furniture store?--- Sharper Image
what kind of room do you live in?--- one of those dorm ones
are you currently employed?--- im a bum, and pretty damn good at it
do you have any sibling?--- sumit 'i love to steal' agarwal
what is your favorite name for a girl?--- jade
what are your favorite names for a boy?--- sharad of course
do you want to get married soon?--- hopefully within the next decade
how many children do you want?--- 2-4
do you play an instrument?--- trumpet, recorder, occasionally harmonica
what is your favorite color?--- red

do you swear a lot?--- nope, trying to stop
how long does it take you get get ready in the morning?--- 2 minutes
do you remember your dreams?--- parts of them, the deranged parts
describe one.--- last nite i stole a car and went on a road trip with a nicklebag of funk
what time do you go to bed usually?--- haha, about every 48 hours at around 4 am
what time do you wake on weekends?--- 2 pm ish
do you have heaps of friends?--- i think so, yea, i guess
do you have a best friend?--- nope
do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?--- a few more guys than gals
do you have any pets?--- sumit is a pet

have ever had sex?--- not telling
do you believe that a person shouldn't have sex before marriage?--- ideally
do you believe in casual sex?--- people do get horny
when do you plan or when did you lose your virginity?--- hehe
did you regret it?--- wow, love em sex questions
do you smoke?--- puff puff, huh?!?, nope
do your friends smoke?--- a handful

have you ever been drunk?--- yes
have you ever taken drugs?--- haha, not any that i would consider
have you ever stolen?--- i stole a gummy bear from value mart once.
have you ever lied to a partner?--- once or twice...small things
have you ever gotten into a fight?--- yes

are you more innocent or guilty?--- not guilty until u prove it
are you racist?--- only jokingly, we all the same
are you discriminatory to anyone?--- hmmm...i try to keep an open mind so i try not to be
have you been a hypocrite in the past?--- yea, but who hasnt
do you have an open or closed mind to other peoples beliefs and feelings?--- very open
are you funny or serious?--- more funny...i dont like seriousness
are you creative?--- i dunno...i guess so...u be the judge

are you a logical or emotional thinker?--- emotional...logic hurts my head
are you outgoing or shy?--- quite shy
are you lazy or active?--- active when it comes to things i enjoy
are you happy with the way you look?--- yea, i cant change me and i wont change me
what would you change?--- nothing...im so damn hot! (jk...im not)

do you have any body art?--- i once shaved my trail into an arrow pointing down (that count?)
do you wear jewelry?--- sometimes (chain/watch)
do you have any body piercings?--- nope
do you wear makeup regularly?--- nope
do you have a large wardrobe?--- enough to last a while

what is your favorite clothing store?--- kohls
do you shower regularly?--- yea, just about
what kind of soap do you use?--- no soap, body wash
what kind of shampoo do you use?--- umm...i think suave for men
what is your favorite movie?--- apocalypse now redux
what is the last movie you watched?--- Alice in wonderland: a musical p_ _ _ _

who is your favorite actor or actress?--- arnold of course (kindergarten cop seals the deal)
what is your favorite television commercial?--- ummm...that coke one in the 70s where everyone is singing i'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony...
what is your favorite type of music?--- funk, rap, progressive trance
who is your favorite musical artist?--- dr. dre
what is your favorite magazine?--- time
what is your favorite type of book?--- novels dealing with french revolution
what is your favorite book?--- Where the Red Fern Grows
what is the last book you read?--- The Ramayana
who is your favorite author?--- Dickens
what is your favorite board game?--- Grape Escape!
do you like surveys?--- occasionally
what are you wearing right now?--- khakis and a sweater
what are you listening to right now?--- harold's snoring
how are you feeling right now?--- insomnia says no, i say i want to be

goin straight edge

2004-03-31T02:42:00.000-05:00

ive been havin some problems lately...and doin some of the things i do only makes em worse. i hate it and so its gotten to the point where i've gotta completely shut things down. no more of that, which is a real good thing. i was hoping that i would stop for the longest of times and maybe this is a sign that i should. so i will and ill move on from here.

hmmm...week in review

2004-03-27T04:48:00.000-05:00

arite, this week was really really wierd. some things happened that could impact me for a while...but for the moments sake and to keep a hold of some of my own privacy i wont divulge what happened. all in all i can say that this has been a rollercoaster of a week. monday was uneventual. the usual business of going to class and doing some bits of work happened. then i hung out with friends for a while and proceeded to stay up till tuesday. tuesday was going really well until something happened and that something HURTS. but its ok, tis the painful experiences in life which let you know what type of person you are by the way you handle them and learn from them. tuesday turned into wednesday, which proceeded in contemplation over the events of the prior nite. during my thinking i realized that i have absolutely no control over what happened and what didnt happen so i decided whatever will be will be. At least i managed to get a solid nights sleep that nite. thursday proceeded and i went to class and hung out once again. it was a great nite because i didnt do much and i managed to convince myself that things would be OK. friday was uneventual at first but then it became a celebration of false elegence and grace. haha, what a great time that was. i couldve asked for more from the night but i think ill take the goods and forget the bad and say that the night was totally awesome. lots of good laughs and good times.

hmm...i did think i would be able to sleep tonight, but i dont think thats going to happen. reminiscing about the past couple of years and the people that i have met has led me to realize that things are always changing. if you find something good hold on to the moment because its easier to forget than to appreciate it. thats all i will say about that.

OK...so what race do i really look like?

2004-03-16T23:27:00.000-05:00

Ok...first off...its been a while...i wont take breaks from this for a while...i hope.

But back to the issue at hand. Ever since freshman year handfuls of people have said i dont look indian. Heres a list of the races that I have been confused for:

MEXICAN: my least favorite race to be called...i dont know where that one comes from. I guess if my eyes were a bit smaller and my skin a bit lighter it would be real easy to confuse.
PHILLIPINO: i at least thought my eyes were big enough to be something else.
PAKISTANI: eh, its in the same region at least.
BLACK/INDIAN hybrid: This one is really wierd. The people who really thought i was a hybrid were thrown off by my big lips and nose. Its excusable...they are quite different from anyone in my family.

Yep...so i guess if u roll all that up into a giant ball you get a mess...or a sharad.

2004-02-21T17:45:00.000-05:00

have about 15 minutes to kill so i stole this thing from harold's xanga and molded it to me.

What do you want...

-In a woman? someone who makes 8 hours seem like 8 minutes.
-Your kids to be like? respectful and honest
-To change about your family? the meanness
-To change about the world? hatred
-To change about your life? nothing, i take watever is given to me.
-To change about yourself? more motivated

In your opinion, what is the best way to...

-Tell someone to shut up? good sir, your mouth won't stop moving
-Tell someone to leave you alone? good sir, please leave
-Avoid seeing people you do not wish to see? pop on the hoodie
-Keep your privacy? lock the door
-Voice your opinions? use the mouth
-Find a good job? fill out them applications
-Eat an oreo? split em, lick em, eat em

-Break off a relationship? dunno...just be honest
-Confront your fears? i live around my fears.
-Tell someone you love them? "not get drunk..." - harold's answer is too funny, i cant change it.
-Apologize? "sorry..."

How...

-Old are you mentally? 10
-Old are you emotionally? 40
-Old do you really wish to be? 1
-Old do you plan to be when you have a family? 27
-Long does it take you to shower? usually up to 30 minutes
-Many servings of fruits and veggies do you eat a day? 3-4 depending on how good the greasy stuff is at the dh.
-Long does it take you to fix your hair? 15 seconds max
-Many people do you find yourself wanting to slap? nobody
-Good are you at controlling your temper? really good, i have lots of practice.

What do you think of...

-Smoking/drugs? bad for you...but its a personal choice.
-Foreign films? they arent too bad...except some of those indian ones.
-Guys/Girls? "boys have a penis and girls have a vagina"~kindergarten cop
-Relationships? convoluted
-The world? some people in the world need to chill out...a lot
-Your outlook on life? watever happens will happen.
-Marriage? society wants everyone to be married. wierdness.
-Stunts? as in hoes or daredevils...

What...

-Are your turn-offs? bald women and women named sharad
-Are your turn-ons? find out for yourself...
-Would you absolutely not touch? decaying roadkill
-Is the worst habit in the world? not sleeping
-Is the worst movie in the world? home alone III
-Is the worst music artist in the world? Vanilla Ice
-is the worst subject in the world? Math
-Is your style of dressing/clothing? Watever fits and doesnt smell funny
-Your prefered method of transportation? the legs
-Are your deadly sins? almost every one of them
-Things your friends do that really annoys you? nothing really
-Values do you cherish and live up to the most? be good to everyone and have a good time.
-Is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex's physical attributes? the eyes
-Is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex's personality? whether they make me laugh or not
-Do you find addictive (food, characteristics, etc.) ummm....ill skip this one.
-Do you love about babies? they sound funny
-Kind of person are you? laid back

a r e | y o u
-understanding: i try to be
-open-minded: yea, i would say so
-arrogant: when i play football
-interesting: probably not, its up to other people to judge
-random: with some help...all the time.
-hungry: about 2 times a day
-smart: could be with a bit more effort
-moody: nope, not usually
-hardworking: hardly working
-organized: in a scattered sort of way
-healthy: im still alive, i guess
-shy: yes
-difficult: not really, but i cant make that call
-attractive: obviously
-bored easily: not as long as there are people around
-messy: very
-responsible: who needs responsibility
-obsessed: depends on what its about
-angry: seldom
-sad: not lately
-happy: most of the time
-hyper: can happen from time to time
-trusting: trust people until they prove otherwise.
-talkative: only if i know you
-legal: i been legal...

It's been a while since ive been here.

2004-02-20T13:35:00.000-05:00

hmm...wow, its been a while since ive updated this thing. i think im gonna make more of an effort in the future to update it somewhat regularly. This week has been one of the happiest weeks ive had in a long time. nothing good really happened and some bad stuff happened. My crew did find a place to live next year. i think i be living in the attic but i dont care, i hear its big and i get it all to myself, which is key. i need money now which means assuming responsibility. responsibility is a bitch.

havent been here for a while...

2004-02-09T05:42:00.000-05:00

lets see...the weekend:
friday: didnt do much
saturday: tailgating w/brad and bob. if rutgers had played as well as we tailgated...we wouldve won by a lot. first tailgating experience a success!!
sunday: chill and study. lots of chilling. studying was a plus.

so all in all the weekend was fun. had a good time.

I think i fell off

2004-02-01T00:05:00.000-05:00

man oh man oh man. i need to stop going to the same old places for answers when all they ever do is offer a temporary solution to the problem. maybe that is the problem.

Its been a while...

2004-01-29T22:45:00.000-05:00

this week has been fairly hectic. i went to almost all my classes but i still need to get better at doing work. hmm...nothing interesting this week...except for freestyling with jigga brad from france and the vomiting viet on the beatbox. i suck at it, but its fun and i dont mind making an ass out of myself since nobody else will take the rhymes away..."come on jigga brad give me a beat, i wanna walk down 8 mile, but im still stuck on sesame street". haha, a line of the crap i say when i try to rhyme.

classes are goin arite. they are not fun only because mornings are harsh and the weather is harsh. oh well...hopefully ill have something good to talk about in a few hours. i think ill finish this later.

OK...its the week in review time

2004-01-24T03:52:00.000-05:00

tuesday: i realized how much classes are going to suck this semester
wednesday: I realized how much a day off is going to be this semester
thursday: I realized how much 6 classes in a row are going to suck this semester
friday: I realized how much fun randomness is going to be this semester

arite...this week has been pretty good. hung out with lots of people i hadnt seen in a long long while. people say the funniest things after you dont see them for a long time. lots of wierd stories.
for some reason i keep running into people i used to live with freshman year. craziness.
going on the radio is fun...only when the kids aren't stressing out.
hmmmm...lost my debit card amongst other things. no money for a week. ultimate in suckiness.

and back at school

2004-01-19T05:38:00.000-05:00

today was arite. leaving home was needed. hung out with suitemates. but the day was also somewhat boring. the highlights were going to white castle and football in the snow. actually...football in the snow was awesome. tackling people was never more fun. another sleepless night i suppose since its almost 6 AM and im still awake. not much else to comment on. this semester is going to be very interesting. everyone is slowly changing. i guess seeing the evolution of it all is going to be interesting.

whoa, sheena wants me to think...rather hard

2004-01-18T01:25:00.000-05:00

arite, so sheena wants me to write about what will outlive the humans one day since us as a species of "animals" have outlasted many other animals. well...im no ESP master or anything...but this is what i think will happen:

sumit, my brother, will move down south...somewhere near texas. he will become a farmer and figure out that he has to get married so that he can spawn more farmhands. he will do so at an alarming rate until he has 15 of em. those 15 will get married and have 15 each to make 225 and they will do the same. eventually there will be many of sumit's broodlings across the southern countryside. eventually there will eb a day when some country decides to trigger an all out chemical war. (atomic weapons are going to be less powerful than some chemical agents at that time). and as we all know...anti-bacterial soap does not kill all bacteria so with the same rhetoric...chemical weapons will not kill all sumits. it only turns them into some sort of freakish being like jabba the hut. so there u have it sheena...sumits breed will one day turn into jabba the huts and roam the countryside taking people captive (similar to what jabba did to princess leia) until people are extinct. thats the future.

as erik would say: "boo everyone else stealing me"

2004-01-14T21:00:00.000-05:00

inspired by eriks website...i decided to make my own 2k4 predictions. nostradamus ain't got shit on me.

1) i will shock the world by saying a sentence that is fully coherent, audible, and makes sense without having to repeat it.
2) i will unknowingly do something to the hall directors car again. and then find out a couple weeks later.
3) i will manage to piss off all 4 suitemates simultaneously again.
4) someone will accidentally buy one of erik's chillspot clothing and erik will think he is the "shizzle"
5) chandru a.k.a. kaushik will finally take 10 shots of everclear and then set up his own distillery in his dorm room.
6) people will ask me if i am mexican another 1,000 times. 999 times of which will be people who know i am not.
7) brad will finally grow horns and a tail.
8) jay patel will pass out somewhere new every month.
9) harold will reclaim the vomiting glory of days gone by.
10) i will finally get a perfect score on the magic-mic, after which i will start a record label
11) i will do something stupid and end up on direct connect.
12) i will fall asleep...for more than 3 hours!!!
13) jon thomas will injure erik again...with hilarious consequences and if that doesnt happen, erik will injure himself
14) harold will again regain super drunken out of control status when he finally gets into a fight...with erik!
15) sharad vs brad II will happen...then shortly after the world will come to an end.

what day is it today?

2004-01-14T13:01:00.000-05:00

hmmm...i dont know what day it is. i guess its because when you dont sleep the days dont seem to change. sleeping sort of tells your body that the next day is comming i suppose. but anyways, the past 2 nites have been arite i suppose. i think today is wednesday...monday nite was awesome. always is a good time at AKL. met people and had an enjoyable time with them. also found out that the brad might return to school. he better.

last night was boring, i spent most of it reading and writing. still working on reading the screwtape letters and i wrote some stuff for the hell of it. i guess whatever eats up time. i think today is gonna be slowwwwwwww...i hope i am wrong. fast day means fast asleep...or so i would like to think. argh.

so harold wants me to write about a tree and a bird

2004-01-11T02:05:00.000-05:00

yea, so as the title says...harold wants me to write about a tree and a bird. i guess this is what kids do for fun in vietnam. arite, i dont hug trees and dont really do much of anything to them so this is gonna be hard. i guess ill have to pretend to be like one of those walking trees from lord of the rings.

lets begin:

im a giant willow tree. im a big ass willow tree also...not like one of those dying pieces of crap u find on the edge of some stinky lagoon. i let a woodpecker live on me only because its like an alarm clock, it starts trying to put a hole in my every morning and i wake up and threaten to break its nest. the woodpecker knows whose boss so it leaves me alone. but tis the same routine every morning.

sometimes people try to climb me. thats always a big mistake. if they climb me alone i run off with them in my branches into a deep forest where i sell of the people to large factories. what the factories do is they convert people into fertilizer and mulch. see, us trees are smart...we found that people like to chop us down for fertilizer and mulch and it helps them, so the opposite must work for trees. nobody ever suspects a tree for murder or kidnapping because people always like to blame each other. thats why sometimes a cop might find fragments in the forest and he would suspect another person while in reality its only tree people fertilizer. us trees sure do know how to play the fool. oh yea, trees also keep hit lists of people to kidnap. its always those people that like to chop us down and carve crap like "Clarence and Beatrice 4EVER!" on us that get kidnapped. its always important not to attack unless attacked upon.

winters are awesome. we get to be dormant. its like hibernation but nobody bothers us because they think we're dead. unless ur my cousin pine tree...it sucks for him a lot, he never sleeps and he's always afraid of christmas time. im not sure what that is, im usually dormant at that point of the year.

arite, i dunno where im gonna go with this so im gonna stop.

and we all fall down...

2004-01-09T23:34:00.000-05:00

this has been a hard ass week. i went from getting completely cut off from the family to finally having tuition money and on campus housing. my mom doesnt really want me in the house but she knows i hold all the cards. i talked her into letting me stay in my suite. so as it turns out im back to how i thought it would all go. now i just have to survive the week. this is gonna be shitty. maybe i should try to sleep. oh yea, i can't.

insane 2 days

2004-01-08T13:37:00.000-05:00

umm...well...i decided to leave for a couple of days without telling the parents. i think it was a good idea. spent much of the time at chandru's house, rutgers, and jay p's house. good stuff. i finally managed to sleep for about 3-4 hours both nights. as for this moving out business...its going. finding a place is really easy...i think i found a really cheap one too so im not too concerned about that at the moment. the main concern now is to find a job. jobs are hard to come by. all this is rather surreal. i always knew i would wander around the world until i found a reason to settle down. well...i guess the wandering has started even tho im still gonna be close. i guess its best to start off with small steps before running off. dont really want to write about that any more. so i suppose i wont.

a good book to read through all this has been The Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis. seems to have a great calming effect. "the present is the point where time touches eternity." so i suppose worry about now before u can worry about tomorrow. good advice.

crap...i have to change all the goals i had for the year. lets see:
1) survive
2) find ways to pay for school
3) cant get hurt/injured/hospitalized for anything
4) learn money management on the fly
5) get a roof over my head and food in my mouth
6) patch things up and get some sort of closure to the issue...hopefully

ill add on more to this as the drama unfolds.

and the insanity begins

2004-01-05T18:46:00.000-05:00

when my mom came home from work today she asked me "when are you moving out?". fair enough. i was hoping she was just threatning to kick me out yesterday, or at least thats what i told myself before going to bed, but nope, she's serious. ill have to go to court 2morrow to figure out what i have to do to declare myself financially independent. then i will have to go to the bank and transfer all my dollars to a checking account from which i can get a cell phone plan (my mom is confiscating the one she gave me). this should also help prove financial independence. i will eventually also have to find a way to get a credit card so that i will have some sort of credit history. from there i will have to bitch and moan to the financial aid department and figure out what sorts of evidence i need to prove that i am independent. from there on its find a job and try to graduate college. this is gonna be hard.

im gonna have to handle today before i start thinking about tommorow. for some reason i dont really feel bitter, angry, or scared. i feel very numb. i dont think it has sunk in yet and i dont think it will till the day comes and i move out. so much shit to deal with in so little time. i guess i will come out better for having gone through this. but anyways, thanks a lot to diana, harold, daisey, erik, jon, and brad for helping me try to figure all this out.

i just hope that one day i can look back at all this and laugh. i would hate to think that this was the downfall of me.

oh no, not this shit again

2004-01-04T00:18:00.000-05:00

i remember in senior year of high school my mom blurted out "i dont know whats your problem, why do you have so much anger inside of you." this hit me deep. this was the first time someone looked right through me. i am normally pretty awesome at keeping my emotions in check and some of those that may know me know that i can put on a stoic facade at times.

but anyways...she said the same thing today. she has a pretty crappy memory so i dont think that she remembered telling me that before...but i do, i have a tough time forgetting what other people tell me if they have my attention. for some reason i can still blurt out random details of what people have told me 7 or 8 years ago. regardless, i dont know how she knew or why she knew it...but she did know. behind my stoic look she saw it and she got scared. i dont know why i get this way sometimes but i know it happens.

what scares me about this is that sometimes i enjoy the feeling. i love the way i cant control my heartbeat when im angry, the way the veins in my arms and temples start bulging, and the way i lose control of what i say. i think its because sometimes you just never know who you really are until you lose control.

the problem is...i want it to stop. there are some days when someone will say something harmless but it will set off fireworks inside like no other. there are some day when i see something that is harmless and yet it triggers something deep within. this is probably the reason i will never fire or own any sort of gun. i might like it. i dont know why. im hoping it will stop someday, somehow.

i think much of this may have to do with the fact that i am extremely restless inside. my attention span peaks after about 15 minutes. i can't help but let my mind wander. i guess thats why people say i live in my own little world. i need to find some way to channel all this energy. that might be the answer.

but back to the main thing at hand. i dont like it and today is just one of those days.

2003...oh man

2003-12-31T19:30:00.000-05:00

this year was pretty wild. lets see...at this point last year i was in india with the family other than my bro and dad. it was pretty good. the second semester of sophomore year soon followed and pretty much nothing big happened. oh yea, i flashed about 25 people which made it my first flashing experience...this was during mr. winkler nite. then the school year ended amidst a giant haze. the summer was arite. i worked at amersham pharmacia and played basketball all the time. oh yea, i did also go to cleveland, denver, las vegas, montana, idaho, new mexico, arizona, and wyoming during that time. cleveland was awesome as it always is. all those other states were visited to see friends, and yellowstone and las vegas and the grandest of canyons...i think they call it the grand canyon. with that the summer ended and the school year started anew. this semester i can safely say has been the most dynamic. many new friends were made, people seen, and nearly people lost. this semester i can say has taught me more than any of the past semesters combined. what i learned this semester will hopefully never be forgotten. which leads me to do what everyone does this time of year...RESOLUTIONS.

SHARAD AGARWAL WILL DO THE FOLLOWING IN 2004:
1) will go to gym 5 times a week
2) will study more
3) will hando better with time management
4) will beat mario 2
5) will end all addictions
6) will try to stop ordering so much food
7) will find some religion (if anything makes sense...if it doesnt i might have to go my own way)
8) will release a CD of my muzak.
9) will leave the country
10) will find a way to make a difference either somewhere or with someone

Sharad and Sharadadad

2003-12-30T01:57:00.000-05:00

so, today i woke up and did nothing. i think i read a book for a while and then went online. whilest online, i asked hee won wat my post should be about today and of course, similar to diana, she said hee won. i decided to save that for tomorrow and so she said write on cloning. ok, i think cloning is cool and all, but only for stem cells. im not a big fan of abortion so stem cells have to come from somewhere. i figure if we eat animals and kill em for the hell of it, why not clone them for stem cells. but i dont like talking about this...i think it would be more fun to think about all the possibilities if i were cloned and another sharad was present.

lets see...i think cloned sharad will be named sharadadad because its just easier then to distinguish between me and him. i think sharadadad would hate me. i would make him go to class for me and take tests for me and write papers for me. he would have to well also because if he didnt i would make him listen to punk rock for hours (maybe i could lock him in the dorm room with harold, haha)...me and sharadadad wouldnt be fans of the punk rock. also sharadadad would have to go home for me whenever i had to. if he didnt behave at home i would tape record my moms voice and play it over and over in his sleep. thats enough to make any man want to die. sharadadad would also have to work a job and give me all his money. if he didnt i would enlist him in the french foreign legions so he would have to fight for all the pierres and maurices of the world. besides that sharadadad wouldnt have much a reason to hate me. on the plus side, sharadadad would be a good companion to play non-mario related games with like tony hawk 4 and underground. he would also always be down for baseball or football or frisbee which would be cool. having a sharadadad would be totally awesome. he could also duet with me on the magic mic which would be 2 times as awesome as just a sharad. man oh man, i want one now.

all craziness aside...i think one sharad is enough for the world. there just isnt enough 70s music to go around for the both of us.

random conversation:
Peon715 (2:03:01 AM): ur people invented crazy sex
shagarwal1 (2:03:07 AM): good sex
Peon715 (2:03:08 AM): u and ur hookas too
shagarwal1 (2:03:13 AM): yea, we are the shit
Peon715 (2:03:20 AM): u people know how to have a good time
shagarwal1 (2:03:20 AM): i guess thats why we are brown
Peon715 (2:03:24 AM): LOL

the sell-out post ... re-edited after thinking for a few days

2003-12-29T01:32:00.000-05:00

i've noticed that every blog tries to tackle the issue of "LOVE". let me try to define it in my own words. i have finally sold out to the masses.

arite, where do i begin. first off, there are many different types of love. one may love an object, an animal, or a person.
--- love does not need people. the homeless man in the street feels some basic forms of love: the love of food and shelter. this is because if he is left without that little piece of bread or that blanket above his head, he is rendered victim to hunger or cold. sometimes his love for food and shelter is overshadowed and it may even extend to the gram of crack that he needs to stay sane or that vile of heroine. love of certain objects are perhaps the most rawest forms of love because without it man is dead.
---love of an animal is fairly simple to define. the cat one owns, or the dog, or even gold fish is a very constant companion. they can never really emotionally hurt u unless they are dead or hurt or missing. they cannot talk to u and put u down and they cannot make fun of you. they are the constant companion. it also doesnt hurt that you are the master of their domain. you control their food and shelter and every tangible object they have. this probably brings a form of attachment. i havent experienced this so im not too sure.
---and finally, the hardest one to define, the love of a person. surely one can love a friend or family members...but its not too much fun dwelling on topics of that sort. tis more fun thinking about the elusive "one". this one has many names...some call it their "prince in shining armour" or their "maiden in distress", others may call it their "soulmate" or their "partner in life", but for all purposes, we will call them the "one". i find it hard to believe that anyone truely finds the one person that fullfills every need in their life. i mean seriously, there are billions upon billions of people in this earth and finding the "one" is very much nearly impossible. while i dont think that there is a such thing as a soulmate, i do think there is such thing as true love. does that mean we should not look for our soulmate ... NO ... this is where my curse of eternal optimism begins to haunt me. wat this means is that we will truely never know if we ever find that one person, but that doesnt mean we cant be content with our lives and thiers as one union. we will never know if there is anyone else out there that can possibly fullfill every single need we have and be perfect. so wat does this mean...is it worth giving up on love. NEVER. nobody will ever fullfill every need of one particular person...so it is important to prioratize those needs and if they can be filled, well...that might be the closest you will ever get. much of this has to do with the fact that i dont believe in fate. only free-will. maybe its because i dont think that god interferes with such aspects of life, but sees how we deal with them. (god is a topic i have to talk about on a later date)

Also, there is no such thing as love at first site. NEVER. no matter what anyone says i refuse to believe it. this is because one can never truely love someone based solely off physical appearance, as implied by love at first SIGHT. love at first sight is lust. lust i believe is the seed to love. there is a certain degree of physical attraction required to love someone because true love is supposed to be the union of mind, BODY, and soul. sometimes the seed doesnt sprout and it stays as is...this is when u get the "i cant talk to them because they are too hot" or if 2 bold people are involved u get the "fuck friend". sometimes the seed begins to sprout but the tree dies eventually...this is the "i dated the person but i found out they werent the right one". thats because the roots have just sprouted and the branches are just growing, but conditions arent right so the tree dies. then there is the rarest and most beautiful product...the full tree. this is the "i can't live without you" stage. the roots to the tree are strong and sturdy and it is able to sustain the strongest of elements (obstacles). some trees grow higher than others and some trees stop growing. what matters is how deep the roots go because the tallest tree can fall if the roots dont run deep. every relationship needs a deep and strong foundation. wat the foundation is based upon is up to the 2 people involved. the 2 people dont have to fit together like puzzle pieces because puzzle pieces required pure opposites to match. all that is required is enough overlap over key issues...thus laying a foundation. i see commonalities with your partner as fertilizer for the tree. its good to have some things in common. but if there is only one main thing in common and u let it engulf the relationship, it doesnt work. i once made the mistake of putting too much fertilizer on a tree. it died.

people like to say love is like a rose or some crap like that. i dont agree. roses are clipped with scissors. roses wither. their petals fall off one by one. they become dull skelatons of a vibrant past. roses die. all they leave behind is a sweet fragrence which is later used as potpouri in someones bathroom. naw...i dont think love can be compared to any tangible object because tangible things never have a way of outlasting eternity. which leads me to believe that if it wasnt created by man, it cant be destroyed.

i hate thinking about this...it wakes up the dreamer within.

well...now that ive sold out, i can begin blogging like a champ again.
only...that is, if anyone reads this crap.

why my last 24 hours would be the loneliest (a satire based off my friends)

2003-12-29T00:42:00.000-05:00

wat would i do with my last 24 hours (inspired by the ma$e song of course). i dont know. after working at mikasa this weekend i think one of the things i would do is smash all their fancy crystalware with a baseball bat. u have no idea how hard it is to resist. i would need all the time to do what i wanted to do. i also think that i would die alone. heres why.

- i wouldnt be able to hang out with erik because then we would probably bring out the bag of funk and listen to music or play video games. either that or i'd have to hear him talk for a good 2 hours.
- i wouldnt be able to hang out with harold because then we'd probably waste 3 hours of my last 24 playing madden and talking football.
- i wouldnt be able to hang out with jay because he would be sitting on his favorite pc playing starcraft. then he would try to sleep and be woken up soon thereafter.
- i wouldnt be able to hang out with jon because id spend a couple hours at the raquetball courts and then come back to play mario kart. thats like 3 hours of my last 24.
- i wouldnt be able to hang out with brad because then i wont be awake for 12 of my last 24. and i would probably get beaten somewhere in the middle after taking his car out for a last drive.
- i wouldnt be able to hang out with daisey because we'd play mario for about 3 hours and then watch something on the computer while we wait for chinese food to arive (with hot sauce of course).
- i wouldnt be able to hang out with diana because then i would go all out on the magic mic for a good 3 hours. now that i think about it...singing to an inevitable death seems like a good way to go out. but not the best.
- i wouldnt be able to hang out with jay k. because then we both would have no idea wat to do...and then we'd do what we always do which means hours of trouble.
- i wouldnt be able to talk to sheena because then that would take a good 2 to 3 hours of non-stop typing. every minute is vital.
- i wouldnt be able to hang out with chandru because he would get pissed off at me for kicking his ass in nba2k4. then he would proceed to take shots of everclear.
- i wouldnt be able to hang out with scott because he dyes his hair. thats only because i cant think of another reason.
- i wouldnt be able to hang out with my parents because they would start yelling and make me wish 24 hours didnt take so long.
- i wouldnt be able to hang out with sumit because he would probably tell me about all the robitussin hes taken. messed up.

yep, so id do my things and die the same way i came into this world. alone.

UH OH, THE DIANA TALAG POST IS HERE

2003-12-28T23:59:00.000-05:00

so a few days ago i was bored. i asked diana what i should write about. her response was diana. fair enough. i knew she meant herself, but i thought that maybe i could be a smartass and write about diane sawyer or diana ross, but thats just not fun. this post is about diana talag, the female funkalicious filipino homo sapien.

diana talag attends rutgers university and lives in silvers with her roomate lia. she is about as high as my chin and has black hair. she has a xanga site somewhere. i dont know the address off the top of my head. she was a journalism major, and she still might be. nobody really knows. im not even sure she knows. the demons of pharmacy havent been completely exorcized.

diana talag owns a magic mic. for those of you that dont know what a magic mic is...man oh man...u have been missing out. its the ultimate in singing satisfaction.

diana talag comes over our place often. when she comes over, she normally enjoys the company harold and i and whoever else may be there. sometimes we magic mic. sometimes we play mario. sometimes we listen to music. sometimes we dont do a thing. those are the best times...wait...nope...second best...magic mic moments are the best. sometimes she even sleeps on the couch. she prefers the smaller one because it is closer the to the window.

diana talag likes my earlobes. she rubs them all time saying "supple ears" in a squeakish pitched voice. i nod in agreement. my ears are supple. i think she also bit them once. that however remains a bit fuzzy.

diana talag works at the dining hall as well. she sometimes serves food and i dunno wat the hell she does the other times. she feeds me and puts lots of food on my plate. anyone who does that deserves a sticker. give diana talag a sticker if u see her! (preferably glow in the dark)

diana talag and i have drank before in the past. its always a wild time. she tells me wierd stories and things. i wont divulge. tis as wild as fishing in a fish barrel or wearing sandles with socks. i think thats the epitome of wildness.

diana talag used to be the hostess of sunday dinners. they were fun. that needs to be ressurected only because of fond memories like my introduction to SPAM. that is one meat i wont be forgetting any time soon. i think i should invest in a can for kicks. i hear they dont spoil. ill make it spoil.

diana talag is one super cool person. i bet u all want a friend like her. sorry for making u people jealous.

happy birthday jesus

2003-12-24T23:59:00.000-05:00

whoa, its 12:01 now so that means its christmas. for some reason im not upset that it hasnt snowed this christmas only because i can look up in the sky and see a whole lotta stars. i find stars a whole lot warming than a crapload of snow (even tho i enjoy that too). i dont really have a big knowlege in their constellations, but i prefer not to so that i can just enjoy them from what they are rather than what others have made them out to be. i stared at them for a while...until my neck started hurting. i think while i was staring at them i found out why i couldnt sleep the past weekend. i think thats gonna stay with me for a long time. but i learned that stars have a way of reminding me of things. mostly good...others not so good.

today was pretty fun. the only downfall of it all was that my back hurt like hell because i went to sleep on the couch yesterday for a while. some people never understand why i cant sleep on the couch, but thats because the pain is unbearable. other than that i took about 5 tests for jobs which were a waste of time because they were on basic computer stuff. i came back to eat and proceeded to pass out on the couch again. tis gonna be a field day of pain for my back 2morrow morning. i woke up to watch bruce almighty with the parents which wasn't too bad...but i think thats only because my mum fell asleep.

after that i hung out with the only person i know with a 2 part first name, hee won. it was a fun time driving around and talking. we drove around in giant circles unknowingly at first and then because of my lack of turning into burger king abilities. oh well, got us both out of the house and it had been over a year since we last met. good stuff, i got gummy bears and a bottle of root beer which made it all the better. oh yea, she also gave me a bunch of german choclates which i must devour before my brother finds them. we're gonna have to find out if i have any samosa makin skills.

hope everyone has a safe christmas and be happy.

it ain't a thang if its not a chicken wang.

2003-12-24T14:58:00.000-05:00

i slept and i slept and i slept some more. i think i got about 20 hours of sleep. the first 4 hours were interupted by the temple. i dont like going to the temple because they just sing and sing about stuff in a language i can barely understand. the times i do understand wat they are singing about i find out that its either about how pathetic and stupid humans are and great god is. i find it depressing when people tell me how dumb or pathetic they are so i think god might feel the same way, especially if millions of people are telling him/her that. i dont like singing about that so i dont sing at all. i like the idea of just praying to god about problems u have instead of self degradation. so i tried to sleep which is arite because then people think u are a super hardcore prayer and really spiritual even tho u arent and u are only sleeping. i get the last laugh, HAH!

also, i got a 3 day job with mikasa. shit, they are making me handle crystalware and work with people. i think im gonna have to sleep lots before i go there. its way down in flemington...if anyone lives by there gimme a call so maybe afterwards we can hang out.

i need goals for break. i think i have some. 1) earn $1000, 2) visit everyone possible, 3) rock some of those 3-d puzzles, 4) read!

arite, so i was wrong about the day

2003-12-23T00:39:00.000-05:00

today was flat out awesome. i woke up and went to breakfast alone, which was everything i dreamed it could be (since i cant sleep i have to dream while i am awake). then i came back and just sat in the courtyard and watched people for a couple of hours. i always love watching kids with their parents because its fun looking at resemblances. then i went upstairs and started hanging out with the suitemates (brad, ur a suitemate). it was flat out awesome. then i went to kmart and radio shack with brad to get presents for his gf. bbq chips are awesome, pringles bbq chips are awesomer. then we went back and hung around with the suitemates again. then i threw the baseball with jon, which was really fun even tho we were both rusty. afterwards we went for dinner which was real chill and then for a car ride which was even better. after that i went to college ave with daisey and we hung out and ate which was something i really wanted to do before break. i came back to the suite and hung out some more with the suitemates and now i am supposed to try to nap. i dont think i will be able to nap, but i know that tonight i will be able to sleep and it will be glorious.

2 whole hours...

2003-12-22T11:18:00.000-05:00

awesome, i finally managed to sleep from 7:30am - 9:30am. only for 2 hours. but its sleep. i have a feeling that nothing i want to do will happen today or i wont be able to see the people i want to see. shitty.

hmmm...this sucks...its almost 1 and nobody is awake. the boredom is off the charts. i really need to occupy my mind with something.

i think i found plane tickets out of here for really cheap. catch is that its in india where it will be freezing like no other. why do i want to go away so badly?

rampant insomnia...25 hrs and i still cant fall asleep

2003-12-22T02:49:00.000-05:00

today was pretty much uneventful. im surprised im still up. hmm...wow, i just got punched by the devil. i feel lots more pain comming. but for today it was more of the same of the good ole hanging out. it feels wierd that i wont see some of these kids for a while and maybe some scarcely again. There are still a couple people i need to meet up with before school gets out...hopefully that happens tommorrow. i think ill continue goin on this insomnolent train for a bit. for some reason i find it easier to think this way because instead of thinking about 5 things at the same time, my brain can only handle 1. im not really sure why i cant sleep when normally its really easy for me. this is wierd. i think ill try laying down again. it better be 10 when my head is up.
my mission to leave this country has been kept on hold for now. im gonna have to plan for this more in advance. ill add more to this as time comes.

day of thought

2003-12-21T14:41:00.000-05:00

hmm...i woke up at 6:30 am and for some reason i am sore again.
i dunno wat my fascination with this is...its like being on tv but a million times less fun.

yesterday was pretty random...met new people from the first floor only because i was bored. they were pretty cool people, more people to play ball with i guess...now i need to find people on the fourth floor and maybe we can throw a massive building party when the preceptors are gone. i can only think of that as the highlight for the entire day. nothing really out of the ordinary happened and nothing really happened at all. even in an uneventful day i cant think of it as a waste.

i also hung out with the suitemates for the second day in a row, because i think i have neglected to do so for a long long time. was hanging out constantly with one person from dec 6 to dec 18 for just about every minute possible. WHOA, thats ALMOST 2 WEEKS!!! (random moment of epiphany). yep, but anyways it became a tug of war sort of mess between my suitemates and the person and the tension was defintely noticeable. as one of my suitemates put it this mess became an issue of "the thing who stole our friend and won't give it back." ive realized that perhaps i have changed this semester for better or worse, but there are some things which should never change. i dont really know how it happened, why it happened, or even what happened...but it happened and it kept happening. the bigger thing at hand is that i knew there was a problem and yet i didnt do anything about it...its always easier to ignore the problem. to put it into a math equation (stolen from erik)... "Relationships are meant to be statements of equality, like the finest most elegent mathmatical equations. when X gets greater than y or y gets greater than X it is in imbalance that must be dealt with." hmm, i dont think trying to justify relationships in mathematical equations is necessarily correct, but it doesnt matter because the cocept is logical...dealing with the imbalance is going to take some time. i am not in a position to blow off one group of friends for another because that is flat out dumb and thats probably what led to the whole mess to begin with. im not going to ditch my suitemates because they are all my brothers in this house and i am not going to ditch my friend because i genuinely care about her. finding the balance is the key. things like that tend to suck because eventually its always staring at you in the face and its hard not to lose control. ima gonna hafta make sure that doesnt happen. the jagged shards of sanity are one of the few things i need to hold on to. that and my friends.

im gonna have to look at this as one giant learning experience. its very interesting to see the household that develops when a group of friends begin to live with each other. i guess wat makes it that way is that there are no parents to play puppetmaster with you. no strings attached at all.

hmmm...i dunno...im gonna have to figure lots of things out. i need to get my priorities straight in school. i need to figure out where i stand with religion. i need to start reading and writing again. i need to get myself straightened out. maybe ill try to leave the country for break. i need to get lost somewhere.

hmmm, ur reading quite a bit.

2003-12-20T13:56:00.000-05:00

okay, here we go...
im not azn enough to make a xanga so i had to find a way around that.
the reason i am making a blog is because a lot of really messed up stuff happens to me and most of it is fairly entertaining to read. usually when messed up stuff happens i dont find out about it till the next morning so this thing is gonna be a place where i type stuff as i find out what happened. the past week has been fairly dynamic only because i am beginning to see things a bit differently every day. but nobody wants to hear about that. i better start on an adventure right now so i can fill up this space.